Why Bharathiyar was frustrated ? Now I can understand

Today I was so frustrated by the (vast majority of) people in current modern world being so dumb and not thinking at all. People always want to be entertained via movies/comedies/funny videos/funny-pics-in-faceook/etc and after all entertainment they does not want to spend their time on science/documentary/history/books/etc. So I was googling for why people are so lazy and dont care a shit about anything happening around. During my search in youtube I got to see Bharathiyar's song to my surprise. and that song is "Nalladhor Veenai seidhu.."

நல்லதோர்  வீணை செய்து ... அதை நலம் கெட புழுதியில் எறிவதுண்டோ !

சொல்லடி சிவசக்தி ..

என்னை சுடர் மிகும் அறிவுடம் படைத்துவிட்டாய் !

These are the lines that made a great impact on me today.

I understood the "actual meaning" of the song just today, and I can now understand why Bharathi felt frustrated with foolish myths in India at that time, which he tried to eradicate.

One of my friend (who thinks!) usually says this "I feel like a person who was cured of his mental-illness but still living with mentally ill people in a mental-hospital". So true words!

கனவு ( ஒரு கவிதை )

ஆள்வோருக்கும்    வாழ்வோருக்கும்  இலவசமாய்க்  கிடைத்திடும் 
துயில் தந்த கனவே ! நீ ஒரு சமதுவச்சின்னம்.

எளியோரும் தனவானாய் சில நொடியில் மாறிடுவான்.
புகழோனும் மனநிறைவாய் கடற்கரையினிலே நடந்திடுவான்.
சட்டமில்லை கேள்வியில்லை நினைத்ததெல்லாம் நடந்திடுமே.
பயங்கொள்ளும் கனவாக இருப்பினும் கண் விழித்ததும்
மனம் நிறைந்து கவலைகள் பஞ்சாகப் பறந்திடுமே.
கனவே ! நீ ஒரு மனநிவாரணி.

House Hunt Project In Chennai (during aug-sep 2011)

Now I am in a new phase of life. Took decision to rent a house for myself. Moving away from bachelor life (though not getting married now). The main reasons for this decision is to bring in more privacy and so my parents and relaitives can visit me in my home; stay for couple of days and enjoy.Other reasons are 'to move away from highly polluted perungudi (rajiv nagar)'

Ok.. I started like this... Asked my friends in office about where to rent a descent house for 6000 to 8000 with car-parking. Everyone suggested areas like Velachery/ Madipakkam/ Pallikaranai/ Kovilambakkam /Pallavaram/ Chrompet/ Medavakkam/ Selayur/ Santhosapuram/ Rajakilpakkam/ Tambaram/.Then I took my bike and roamed in all of the above mentioned areas (i.e. into important streets and upto the last of the area atleast in one direction).I personally felt that all these areas are acually waterbodies (a big marshland) and 90% of the areas are subjected to water-logging issues.Other than waterlogging these areas are full of dust/garbage/crowded. So I decided these areas will not work-out for me.

I always know that Adyar/Besant Nagar/Thiruvanmiyur(except few areas) are really good residential places.These areas has lots of trees in their wide roads. Less pollution and importantly nearer to beach. But again the rent amount in these areas exceeded my expectations. The rent goes like 12000 (with car park) for very small apt (600 sqft) .. and the rent soars upto 60000 per month :(So I dropped these areas too.

Then I felt that Perungalathur/Vandalur/Guduvanchery are bit elevated areas than Tambaram. So there wont be water-logging issues.Also rent is very cheap 5000 - 9000 for good 2bhk flat. Accesibility is also good to GST-road (Grand Southern Trunk road). All these factors turned my eyes. I visited one house in Perungalathur in interior area. This area looks like very isolated. Also I felt that Perungalathursuffers from floating-population, which waits for Omni buses. The railway line crossing, which lead us from GST to Perungalthur residential area, is also a bottleneck. So Perungalthur is dropped.

Then Vandalur has no houses :(.. finally it boils down to Guduvanchery. I visited Guduvanchery and felt very much like my hometown (theni). There is a small hillock nearby and it is very less polluted. There are new descent flats coming up all over and seems to be having some life on streets.I infact visited two flats and was about to finalize one. By then one of my roommate said he knows of some horror-cold-blooded-murder that happened in Guduvanchery. That story shoooked me off.. and I dropped Guduvanchery also due to security/safety reasons..

Now, I really dont know what should I do. Anna Nagar/T Nagar/Nungambakkam/blah blah.. all are distant aswell as very very costly for my budget.Even if I stretch upto 12000 INR rent amount I could not get in these posh areas.

Now totally blacked-out. This really sucks !!!!

Many of my friends said you need to give high amt or compromise. My mom said that I should not have got my car (ford figo) now.Because carparking makes the flats costly for rent. Also my EMI (10000 bucks) drains my salary. So my mom felt so.Ok Correct.. I accept car makes some kind of issues here. But I really enjoyed the Chennai to Theni trips in my car. So I cannot blame my car here.

Blog about Blog

Blog.. Blog.. Blog.. In the recent two days I have had some discussions about my blog with my friends, who read it. Today .. right now.. I was too bored and thought of checking my blog dashboard. To my surprise I saw in one of my blog post I could see lots of comments, but they were blocked as SPAM. Then I published the genuine ones (which were marked as SPAM).. Hmm.. I was so happy to see that people have given good comments about my blog post (indeed that was one of my purest horrible experience in my life) (refer this url http://arunkp.blogspot.com/2010/03/acidity-palpitation.html?showComment=1322851275663#c1388677134970628447 ).

I felt I am worthless and my life sucks few hours back.. But after seeing those response from unknown faces... I was really moved and felt that I was worth helping someone.. I helped someone who was suffering.. I felt an unknown happiness.. that happiness pushed me to write this blog :)

When I created the blog initially in 2006.. I never knew how good it will feel to read my blogs from 2011.. Each blog post shows your mindset at each year.. I have had some opinions in 2006.. Now it is totally different.. I can see the changes by reading my blogs in chronological order..

I wish everyone write their experience and share for others. I personally do not like social network websites (facebook) because those are fake fake fake faces of people who just want to show off themselves to others... I have read so many blogs with great emotions within it.. Some gives me courage.. some gives me information.. some gives information about tourist places.. There is not much show-off flaunting in blogs.. Blog reading really gives a nice feeling.. and I believe it can be a considered as the measure of true personality... You know.. I have searched some blog profile of girls who has written very nice sensible posts.. I would wish to get such a girl in life.. But till now have not found any :(

The courage to live alone

Living alone... Sounds easy?? definitely not.
I ve been trying to rent a flat in chennai so that my mom/dad/bro can come and stay there without a second thought. But still now I have not made a strong decision to rent a flat for myself. The reasons are as follows

1. Dad is still running a shop in hometown (theni). Mom can come and stay for few weeks but definitely need to go to back to theni. So it is not feasible for mom to travel 500kms every month to and fro. It is a health risk.


2. Current bachelor life costs me only 10000 INR a month and I can save big money. But if I stay alone I will need 25000 INR


3. When mom or dad or bro is not staying with me in chennai then I will be alone. Loneliness is a big problem.

Inspite of all the above problems something still prompts me to look for a new house. What are those reasons.. see below

1. Roommates do not keep the house neat. Especially I need the house to be in neat order when I come home from office or even after a weekend home-town visit.


2. Sharing the amount spent and answering for the calculations done is irritating. No one do the spending or calcualtion. I need to do all these nonsense.


3. Watching any tv-program or online-movies (including porn movies) is kind of not so personal. You need to adjust to situations.


4. If mom/dad/relatives want to visit you in chennai, then it is not comfortable for them to stay in bachelor's house. My mom/dad have never visited my house after I joined in TCS. This really sucks. You earn so much but you cannot bring your mom/dad and spend sometime with them.

Now at this very moment I am in a dilemma what to do.. that is why writing this piece of thought..

How good is Indian Research ???

Yesterday, I was walking in the street and noticed huge swarms of mosquitoes surrounding us. It bites even when I am walking. I was totally irritated by the mosquitoes. Meanwhile I remembered that the sparrows in most parts of India were affected by cell-phone transmission towers and hence the sparrows now live only in forests. Suddenly my cognitive brain thinks "Why not we find some radio waves or some sort of waves to destroy the mosquitoes???". "Why we dont have such a machine to destroy mosquitoes???"

Not only this 'mosquito prevention'.. Indians have not made any significant contribution to mankind in past few centuries. Indians are always in recieving end. We use I-pod. We use Samsung-TVs. We use bose-speakers. We use paper-plates. We use tissue-paper. We like to travel to USA or UK or Europe. We use computers (windows). we use .. we use.. and we use... Don't we have anything to give??? Ofcourse we have coconut and spices and our-IT-brains.

But the question is who is the better side. Apple-computers or Indian-coconut-farmers??? Windows or TCS ?? That makes the difference...

We are not finding out anything useful. But we always implement 'GERMAN' technology Metro-rails. 'JAPAN' technology machines. 'RUSSIAN' missiles... and so on..

Total Non-Sense...!!!!

Understanding constants and variables in day-to-day life

I recently was conversing with my friend who complains about Chennai's weather and other issues in Chennai. Also I have seen so many people complaining about the foreign places where they happened to work/study/etc. Even worse is in sun-tv news channel I saw an tourist complaining about the mist in ooty (or kodaikanal) which makes the sightseeing impossible on that day.

From all this, I can see that people dont understand the 'Constants and Variables' in life.

Mist is a natural thing. It does not go away since there are lot of tourists.
Chennai is always hot and humid. And again, it does not become cold or less humid. It is nature. And it is always 'CONSTANT'
(Individually)Human beings are 'VARIABLES'.. we can choose to visit the hill station again.. We can choose a company in banglore to escape hot and humid conditions. We can even switch over from IT/Core companies to manage the agricultural land in home town.

But instead of making such decisions, people complain about the environment. It is total non-sense.

Similarly coming to Indian's mentality,

1. Indians complain about other people for not following traffic-rules.. but they themselves violate traffic rules.


2. Indians complain about politicians swindling tax money.. But they themselves evade taxes.


3. Indians complain about govt-employees for bribing.. But they themselves make the bribe-amount ready for doing any govt-office related works.

So.. totally a non-sense mentality.. This really sucks !!!

ID vs SUPER-EGO CLASH

Hope you have heard of ID and SUPER-EGO
ID is what your inner desire is.. ID is a birth trait.

SUPER-EGO is the filter for your ID's desires. Super-Ego is not a birth trait, but it is created by experience and social circumstances
Here are some of the situations and how my ID and SUPEREGO worked :>

SITUATION#1:
In any of busy traffic signal in chennai... the bikers rush between the gaps of cars/buses/lorries and try to go as much front as possible.
ID: Nonsense bikers. See how lined up the cars are in UK roads. Couldn't Chennai bikers stand one behind other neatly. Shout at the nonsense infront of you.. M.F**ker..
SUPEREGO: No.. Hold on.. You cannot shout at anyone. Infact 99% of the bikers here are like this.. Also dont make fool of yourself. Be a roman when in rome.

SITUATION#2:
Office Canteen in Chennai... I got a bill (token) for dosa from counter and gave it to the distributor-guy(server). He had bunch of such bills and ordered the kitchen-guy to make one more dosa. But sadly the people who came after me got the dosas and left. The distributor-guy infact forgot me and again asked me "what do you want?".

ID: Hey M.F***ker don't you know what I gave you? Do you know what is a 'queue'? If you don't know what I have ordered... how will you serve me A**HOLE ..

SUPEREGO: No... Hold on.. You cannot change this guy.. he is uneducated.. See how many so-called professional people who ignores the queue and jumps to get the 'dosa' meant for you.. If these professional (a** holes) cannot understand the importance of queue then how come the uneducated server(distributor guy) will know it.. Dont show your anger at wrong place. Infact the distributor can shout at the people to follow the queue .., but he does not dare to do so.. Leave it.. concentrate on other things..


SITUATION#3:
Election season in chennai. Ruling party is distributing TVsets (as part of previous election's promise) for those missed out regions/localities. In some places people were still not provided with TV sets. Such people in some localities do a strike for not providing a TV.

ID: What a nasty people .. No body do a strike for power-cuts in the state.. No body ask for pure drinking water in locality.. Infact, no body stand together for any "useful-for-society" things.. Why dont America bomb these people ??? :> lol

SUPEREGO: Hey.. hold on.. you are also a part of the above mentioned society. Why don't you ask the govt for not providing proper power-supply? I know.. if you ask they will never care your words.. Infact if you try to file a complaint on the power dept of the state;No action will be taken against that aswell.. Probably some rowdy/gundaas of Power-Minster might come and attack your house :> lol .. So shut up.. and sit down..

Australia Lost in Quarter Finals against India

Today Australia lost to India. This Australian team is not as good as they are during 2003 or 2007 world cup team. But still, they are good. All of them can bat well. The bowlers can do 140+ easily with good line and length. The fielding is also good. Indian team now, is comparatively good batting team. Bowling is never good in India. Fielding wise always 2 or 3 young Indians can do good job.

Australian Bowling > Indian Bowling
Australian batting >~= Indian Batting (don't know what comparison to use)
Australian fielding > Indian fielding

With above statistics, Aussies should have won the match. hmm ... let it go..

Now what should I call this.. LUCK or FATE or ASTROLOGY or What????
Humans are unable to determine what make up the reason for this kind of failure.
hmm.. leaving it for now.. but this really invokes philosophical thoughts within me..

Indian parents and their way of life

The Indian parents are very loving and dedicated to their children. No questions in that. But it is till the time the children cross the maturity level of parents.

Nowadays the parents and children live in two different cultural/belief systems. Parents live based on carefree slow life as in village/town of 1980s INdia. By then the words-to-mouth/mouth-to-word conversation was very reilable. We children live in 2010 ; the concept is Expert-Service with Service-Level-Agreement. This part creates a bit of irritation in parent-children relation (though not serious issue). Whenever I ask my dad/mom on some thing they give a fuzzy time-line. They dont care about the finishing date or any such stuff. But I am concerned about the SLA. Also I need things fast. Could not wait 1 week to get an info from one guy to carry-on my works further.

The concept emerged because most of the works are not done on expected time and in expected manner. Now the problem is most of the world moved to this expert-service model of society .. and hence there is no reliable persons word-to-word society. But our parents still fidelling with forgery/faulty/unqualified persons for getting their work-done and end up in mess.

Soul touching songs

I have been thinking long long ago about writing a blog entry for soul-touching videos that I enjoyed.

One such song is the 'RETURN TO INNOCENCE' by ENIGMA.
What a song it is !!!!! simply it is a 'magical song'. Whenever I watch the song in youtube, it alters my mood. Just before this blog entry I listened to this song and made up my mind to write this immediately. I feel it like a sin as I dint wrote about it these many days.

Also, another ENIGMA's song 'AGE OF LONELINESS' is too good as well. The background high pitched humming lady voice seems to be coming from my soul within. So divine feeling it creates to any one hearing the song. The song has not much lyrics.. but it is the lady voice that gives a mystical feeling to the listener. The video is also too good to watch.

Then, there is one of Illayaraja's 'DUBAI CONCERT SURPRISE PACKAGE' (search in youtube). This is my regional favorite. When I was in Glasgow for an year, I used to hear this song very often. This song reminds me about my home town. The lyrics is very apt, that any tamil guy living abroad can understand much deeper meaning in it. Even today I heard this song in youtube and felt good. Illayaraja is very great person. The way he express the meaning of lyrics is too heart-warming. Many persons given their feeling on hearing this song in 'comments' to is youtube video. It is one such must-watch video in my list.

Then another song from AKON is 'MR LONELY'. This song.. I hear much often when in Glasgow. I felt lonely.. very lonely there.. I got money.. good job.. nice people around.. but still there is a lonely feeling occupying my mind when I was abroad... Now I am in Chennai (Tamilnadu) and enjoying every moment. I could see every people speaking in Tamil. It is one such wonderful feeling for anyone who lived for quite long away from Tamilnadu.

hmm.. then .. 'ULLATHIL NALLA ULLAM' song in 'KARNAN' movie (old tamil movie). This song I liked from my childhood. This song gives a good-feeling & courage ... that, even though any good person might suffer in life.. finally he ends up being GREAT... all one need is good-thinking/good-wish/good-activity in spite of surrounding problems... which will be never forget over time..


there are still a quite big list of soul-touching songs.. but these being very prominent in my mind.. Hope many people have this in yours list..

english to tamil : project / task / job

Being a software engineer and tamil-fan .. i was trying to find tamil equivalent words for 'project' 'task' 'job'... later i found the following words

project = பணி

task = அலுவல்

job = வேலை

Ponniyin Selvan

I have heard lot about this novel 'Ponniyin selvan'. Finally I got a chance to read now a days. I am very much interested into learning history, especially that of Tamilnadu as I am proud about it. This book brings everything infront of the eyes with effects more than what James Cameroon did in AVATAR.

The book goes like seeing from within the mind of the hero 'Vandhiyathevan' . Kalki writes what is happening in the mind/consciousness of the hero into this book. So whenever you read the book, you feel like you are inside Vandhiyathevan's brain and seeing the story. So I feel it is more than 3D movie.

Simply to put forward, the book takes you back in time and make you yearn for that kind of life. Because that life is slow and full of colors, celebrations and people work for themselves and their people. Even though there is a war, the people die for their people (which is a small circle and not a big country as of today, where Indians die in Europe fighting for British and British die in Afghanistan fighting Talibans .. Bull Shit !!! ). Now a days I am working for foreign country for their happiness. I get money with which I cannot stay near my family and enjoy the way I wanted. Holy Shit !!! That age is really beautiful and interesting than today....

Lyrics.. I liked.. / எனக்கு பிடித்த பாடல் வரிகள்

Paiyaa / பையா

செல் செல் அவளுடன் செல் ..
என்றே கால்கள் செல்லுதடா ..
சொல் சொல் அவளிடம் சொல் ..
என்றே நெஞ்சம் கொள்ளுதடா ..
அழகாய் மனதை பரித்துவிட்டளே .....

Sel sel avaludan sel,
Yendrey kaalgal seluthada..
Sol sol avalidam sol,
Yendrey nenjam kolluthadaa..
Azhagai manathai parithu-vittaley..

Gajini (Tamil) / கஜினி

கருப்பு வெள்ளை பூக்கள் உண்டா?
உன் கண்ணில் நான் கண்டேன்...
உன் கண்கள்.....
வண்டை உண்ணும் பூக்கள் என்பேன்..

karuppu veLLai pookaL uNda
un kaNNil naan kaNdaen
un kaNgaL vandai uNNum pookkaL enbaen

Jil endru oru kaadhal / ஜில் என்று ஒரு காதல்

Jil endru boomi irunthum indha tharunathil kulir kalam Kodai anatheno ?
Va anbe neyum vanthal senthanal kuda panikati pola marume !

ஜில் என்று பூமி இருந்தும் .. இந்த தருணத்தில் குளிர் காலம் கோடை ஆனதேனோ ??!!
வா அன்பே .. நீயும் வந்தால் செந்தழல் கூட பனிக்கட்டி போல மாறுமே!!!

Vaaranam Aayiram /வாரணம் ஆயிரம்

நெஞ்சுக்குள் பெய்திடும் மாமழை ..
நீருக்குள் மூழ்கிடும் தாமரை...
சட்டென்று மாறுது வானிலை ..
பெண்ணே உன் மேல் பிழை ..
.....
.......
ஏதோ ஒன்று என்னை ஈர்க்க..
மூக்கின் நுனி மர்மம் சேர்க்க..
கள்ளத்தனம் ஏதும் இல்லா..
புன்னகையோ போகமில்ல..
நீ நின்ற இடம் என்றால் .. விலை ஏறி போகாதோ..
நீ செல்லும் வழியெல்லாம் .. பனிக்கட்டி ஆகாதோ..
என்னோடு வா .. வீடு வரைக்கும் ..
என் வீட்டை பார் என்னை பிடிக்கும்..
....
........
காதல் என்னை கேட்கவில்லை..
கேட்டல் அது காதல் இல்லை..

Nenjukkul paeithidum maamazhai
Neerukkul mulkidum thaamarai
Sattendru maaruthu vaanilai
Pennae un mel pizhai…..
....
................
Yetho ondru ennai eerkka
Mookkin nuni marmam serkka
Kalla thanam yethum illa, punnagaiyo bogham illa
Nee nindra idam endraal, vilai yeri poghatho?
Nee sellum vazhiyellam, pani katti aaghatho?
Ennodu vaa, veedu varaikkum
En veetai paar, ennai pidikkum!..
.......
............
Kaadhal yenai ketkavillai
Kettalathu kaadhal illai!

Kaadhalar Dhinam / காதலர் தினம்

உயிரே .. உனையே .. நினைந்து..
விழி நீர் மழையாய் நனைந்து..
இமையில் இருக்கும் இரவு உறக்கம் ..
கண்விட்டு போயாச்சு .. காரணம் நீயாச்சு ..
நிலவு எரிக்க நினைவு கொதிக்க..
ஆறாத நெஞ்சாச்சு .. ஆகாரம் நஞ்சாச்சு ..
தினம் தினம் உனை நினைக்கிறன் .. துரும்பென உடல் இளைக்குறேன்..
உயிர் கொண்டுவரும் பதுமையே .. உனை விட இல்லை புதுமையே..


Uyirae Unaiyae Ninaiththu Vizhineer Mazhaiyil Nanaindhu
Imaiyil Irukkum Iravu Urakkam
Kan Vittup Poayaachchu Kaaranam Neeyaachchu
Nilavu Erikka Ninaivu Kodhikka
Aaraadha Nenjaachchu Aagaaram Nanjaachchu
Dhinam Dhinam Unai Ninaikkiraen Thurumbena Udal Ilaikkiraen
Uyir Kondu Varum Padhumaiyae Unaivida Illai Pudhumaiyae

En Swasa Kaatrae / என் சுவாச காற்றே

சின்ன சின்ன மழை துளிகள் சேர்த்து வைப்பேனோ
மின்னல் ஒளியின் நூல் எடுத்து கோர்த்து வைப்பேனோ.
சக்கரவாகமோ மழையை அருந்துமாம்.... நான்
சக்கரவாக பறவையாவேனோ..
மழையின் தாரைகள் .. மைய விழுதுகள்..
விழுது பிடித்து விண்மீன் சேர்வேனோ..
...
.....
அந்த மேகம் சுரந்த பாலில் ஏன் நனைய மறுக்கிறாய்
நீ வாழ வந்த வாழ்வில் ஒரு பகுதி இழக்கிறாய்
நீ கண்கள் மூடி கரையும்போது ..--.. மண்ணில் சொர்க்கம் எய்துவாய்..


chinna chinna mazhai thuligal serthu vaippeno
minnal oliyil nooleduthu korthu vaippeno
chakkaravagamo mazhayai arundhumam-naan
sakkaravaga paravai aaveno
mazhayin thaaraigal vaira vizhidugal
vizhudhu pidithu vinmeen serveno

andha megam surandha paalil yen nanaya marukkirai
nee vaazha vandha vaazhvil oru pagudi izakkirai
nee kangal moodi karayum podhu mannil sorgam eeyduvaai


Pudhupettai/ புதுப்பேட்டை

Ulagathin ooram ninru athanaiyum paarthirupoom
Nadapavai naadagam enru naamum serunthu nadithiripoom

உலகத்தின் ஓரம் நின்று அத்தனையும் பார்த்திருப்போம்..
நடப்பவை நாடகம் என்று நாமும் சேர்ந்து நடித்திருப்போம்...

##################################

kadalula veyilila uppeduppOm naanga
thayir saadham saapida uppukaekareenga
kallaraikku pakkathula vaazharOm naanga
pada katti pONam pOna mooka pOthareenga

pozhappukku kadalula OdurOm naanga
thoppaikku kadalula Odureenga neenga
kaasu paNam sethu vechu kanja thanam aenga?
puttukitta paNathaala enna paNNuveenga?

கடலுல வெயிலில உப்பெடுப்போம் நாங்க
தயிர் சாதம் சாப்பிட உப்பு கேக்குறீங்க
கல்லறைக்கு பக்கத்துல வாழுறோம் நாங்க
பாடை கட்டி பொணம் (பிணம்) போன மூக்க போத்துறீங்க.

பொழப்புக்கு கடலுல ஓடுறோம் நாங்க
தொப்பைக்கு கடலுல ஓடுறீங்க நீங்க
காசு பணம் சேர்த்து வச்சு கஞ்சத்தனம் ஏங்க?
பூட்டிகிட்ட பணத்தால என்ன பண்ணுவீங்க?

Dishum / டிஷும்

Indru Pirakkindra Poovukkum.. Siru Pullukkum.. Kaadhal Uraithu Mudithaen
Ullam Kaadhalikkum Unakku Mattum, Innum Sollavillayae Illayae…
Latcham Pala Latcham Ingu Thaai Mozhiyil Sollirukka
Otha Chollu Sikkavillai Yedhanaalae..
Pandhi Vacha Veetukaari Paathiratha Kazhuvittu
Pattiniyaa Kalaippaalae
Ahu Poalae..



இன்று பிறக்கின்ற பூவுக்கும் , .. சிறு புல்லுக்கும் ,.. காதல் உரைத்து முடித்தேன்
உள்ளம் காதலிக்கும் உனக்கு மட்டும் ,.. இன்னும் சொல்லவில்லையே ... இல்லையே ..
லட்சம் பல லட்சம் இங்கு தாய் மொழியில் சொல்லிருக்க
ஒத்த சொல்லு சிக்கவில்லை எதனாலே
பந்தி வச்ச வீட்டுக்காரி பாத்திரத்த கழுவிட்டு
பட்டினிய கிடப்பாளே .. அது போலே.... ( நெஞ்சாங்கூட்டில் நீயே நிற்கிறாய் ......)

Chest pain Acidity Palpitation Dizziness Anxiety Insomnia Bloating

August 25th 2009. The day I felt a mild pain in the chest region. The pain is not too high or two low. I just ignored it. The next day morning after I wake up from sleep, I had same pain persisting. It troubled me a lot bothmentally and physically. The next one week time in office was horrible. I searched for chest pain in internet and got endless list of disease associated. My pain now worsened and I was watching my body very closely to monitor my heart and lung and stomach and elsewhere. I sometime felt my heartbeat. I thought I am hearing because I am keenly observing my body, fearing my chest pain. But I could not convince my mind. I am mentally blocked due to chest pain.

I visited the emergency section (in Glasgow royal infirmiry) and told about my chest pain. The doctors had ECG, x-ray, blood test and finally concluded it to be my acidity and the condition is 'heart burn'. I heard the word 'heart-burn' for first time in my life (was 24 old by then). The doctor recommended to take antacids over the counter.Even antacid is new for me. Infact medicine itself is very new to me as I visit doctor only for cold or fever or someskin allergies till my 24 years.

I had more antacids. One pack of gaviscon after every meal. Approx for 10 days and one day I started feeling dizzy. That drove me crazy. I heard my heart. This kind of episodes happened now and then and I could not figure out anything. It was like a horror movie. But I cant explain these things to others. Because it is something verynew for me and also rare thing for a 24 year old guy. My googling went high, that I read upto genetics to cancer research to stem cells to almost every individual part in the body.

One fine weekend, I felt my heart beat for more than 5 mins and was worried a lot. All of a sudden a dizzy spell. Rushed my roomies to take me to emergency section. But before going to emergency section, all the symptoms stopped.Though I had constant burping, irritation in throat and some acidity related symptoms. I explained about my dizziness and heart beats and again they took ECG and said nothing wrong. I questioned myself 'Am I a fool??' because,I could feel that something is going very wrong in my body. But the doctor says it is nothing.. how could it be possible. Then i started researching more on internet about my conditions (and I frightened myself reading dangerous articles and dreadful conditions that could happen to humanity).
Now, something striked my mind. For the past 2 years I have bloating problem (which I have not given much importance at all, as it dint gave any further problem except to shit often). I thought my bloating could have deep root in my present problems. I imagined I might have some kind of stomach or intestinal cancer and that is why my body started behaving erratically. This added more fear in me. But doctors say iam alright. :(

Then, Finally I made it again to General Practioner. Had a blood test that revealed H.Pylori in my stomach, which proved to cause high acidic stomach and which leads to bloating and so on. So now I had a sigh of relief. I thought and expected that eradicating the H.Pyroli from stomach will end the problem. But it dint. One good thing is my mental confidence increased as doctors found something wrong with me and there is some treatment. I found my stomach does not bloat any further. But still my acidity issues continued. Doctor said that you need to wait for a week or two to get your stomach back to normal.

Slowly, my conditions rolled back to problematic state. Bloating started again.Breathing difficulties and rib cage pains worsened. I started to hear sounds louder than I heard them previously. I cant bear thrilling or devilish music.(I used to listen my iPod at high volume. i all of a sudden thougth that my problem might be because of my high volume, and believe me, i stopped hearing in iPod for some days). Also the winter worsened in 2009 in UK. I felt very bad.. very very bad.I decided atleast I should go back to India and meet my parents and say all these happenings. I traveled to Indiaon Jan 10th 2010. (Aug 09 to Dec 09.. 5 months of mental and physical trauma).

I had Echo, ECG for my heart and everything came out negative (meaning it is in good condition). My doctor in India said it is mere anxiety. My actual problem was acidity due to some food and the chest pain due to acidity. But every other things like heart palpitations, dizziness are all due to my anxiety. Now I am hearing something new again 'Anxiety' ????Anxiety - hmm something new. now what is this. this is purely psychological the doctor said. Now my question is 'am i psycho'. Hmm... I could not bear all these nonsense.. I am definitely alright, i could remember things and work what I need to. So i am definitely not mad.

Then heard about the anxiety and adrenalin relations and then adrenalin and sleep-related issues. Also I was not able to sleep well now. I thought it might be due to new place (since i traveled from UK to India). But my nights became sleepless and chest pain and difficult breathing and acidity and stomach bloating. Oops .. God !!! please save me... that was my mind's feeling. I never believe in god. So how come my utter those words. This is where humans seek for god. Yes, if someone has given me the answer for my problem, then i wont go for God. Now i understood how god came into picture of human's life. I thought whether all these things happenings are something related to attaining god??!!! no idea. nothing clear.

Now I also felt the importance of mind. I understood practically the link between mind and body, as I read something related to anxiety. But medical world has no answers to mind. Medicine can only say about mind related problems but cannot cure any. Then without much help I carried acid reducing tables and some sleeping pills. Came back to work in Chennai, India. It is typical in Chennai for a new person to get vomit and diarrhea in the first week. I did too.Only diarrhea. I went to nearby doctor and she prescribed some antibiotics and importantly PROBIOTICS. I read the contents of the table and to my surprise found that PROBIOTICS table is nothing but bunch of useful bacteria in stomach. After taking the PROBIOTIC pills my bloating went away completely. I felt better. Then I continued to concentrate more on the food habits. My acidity problems seemd to decreased a lot. Now I eat whatever I like. Thankgod. Then continuing my research on my heart-palpitations and sleepless-nights (though my sleep is at least 6 hours). I found that MAGNESIUM deficiency could cause noise-sensitiveness and palpitations. Especially neuron and brain related activities. I now need to try MAGNESIUM rich diet. I will research and will say the output.

From my horrible experience, I conclude(1) Until any person get into solution-less problems, he/she will not seek God truly.(2) Mind can do much harm than anyone can think. But the problem is I cannot explain how horrible I feel hearing loud noise and frightening incidents.(3) Also mind reacts very superbly. I read more medical articles and analyzed in very short period of time just because, my mind wants to find a cure. It never stops at anything till finding a convincing solution.(4) PROBIOTICS are very important. A healthy person is none but who has healthy PROBIOTIC bacteria in his stomach. These bacteria digest and help our digestive system. yet to conculde on solutions to my palpitation/noise-sensitivity/insomnia(sleepless-nights). Probably Magnesium rich diet might help. Let me check.

Also I wish everyone having similar symptoms , not to worry to much. Worrying will not solve the problem, rather it aggravates the problems due to anxiety. Don't read and blindly believe on internet articles. Take only the positive solutions and thoughts from internet. If you take negative and bad things from internet, then you are f**ked.Stop alcohol and smoking. They do more harm than any.Give lots of importance to food habits than your electronic-gadgets and vehicles and home-loans. Don't panic, test yourself and verify with what other say about your condition. Take the one who says very close to your experience. Try to define your conditions exactly and clearly, to figure-out your problem correctly.Finally Blog your experience so that someone might get help from your horrible life.
:) cheers

*****  UPDATE: FOUND THE ANSWER !!! BINGO>>> *******

ALLERGY:

      I found the main problem is my allergy for 'Rice' (especially for raw rice). From my childhood I used to eat only boiled-rice.. But once I started my career, i was always staying away from Tamilnadu and happened to eat raw-rice. I did not knew so far that this could cause so drastic effect in my life. But somehow I am happy now that I found it myself. 

  Whoever is getting the above problems should take responsibility to find the food that is causing allergy reaction for them. No one else can help! .. 

SELF DETECTION METHOD **: 

Stop your food for one/two days (fasting)... Drink plenty of water during that time.. From next day of fasting,  Try chicken-only diet for a week (if vegetarion,, try pure simple vegetable-only diet like "avarakkai" "beans" "podalangaai". This is because can survive with  simple food or little protein and water. 

 So literally no other food. 

Stop milk /milk products/ sugars / caffeine (coffee,tea, coke, etc) for a month. 

Now in a week you should notice considerable improvement.

After first week introduce (i.e testing) "Rice".. if you are not having any bad effects.. then Third week stop rice but introduce next item "peanuts"... if that too did not affect.. in Fourth week introduce "Wheat/Gluten"... if that too is not.. then Fifth week introduce "Milk/Milk products".. 

Mostly you should be finding you are allergic to any of above items.. If all of them are not and the problem still exist. Then it could be something due to environment like pollen/dust etc which you can consult with doctor.

** Disclaimer: This is what I did and noticed problems in rice/caffeine items. So I avoided those things and happy ever since that. Taking this is up to your own decision.

Human vs nature - Am I religious OR scientific OR atheist OR ?

Humans think "Science" is finding solution to everything. But as far as I can see science is finding some temporary fix for problems. But I wont say science as a foolish thing. But science can be considered as an entertainment that human does during their life time. But scientists believe that they can unveil every secrets of universe into mathematical formulas. That will never happen !!!

Nature is far more complicated that humans could imagine. Humans are mere 'OBSERVERS' of nature and make some 'x and y' parameters. Religious people defined arbitrary boundaries like god,rituals etc to answer the unanswerable questions. Scientists observe the behavior of nature and interpret into mathematical equations (but every now and then the science is changing. It has changed its way a lot from Newton's days to Einstein's days). Hmm.. Nature is definitely not this.

Some of the things that science took for granted are

1. CONSCIOUSNESS : It is unmeasurable by science. No one know how it works. In religious terms we can find the term 'soul' similar to scientific term consciousness.
2. EVOLUTION THEORY: Definitely evolution theory is not acceptable. It is a great observation and proposed-theory by Darwin. His theory gave us some insight for DNA and other biological questions. But his full theory is not correct. He himself was doubtful. If the gene mutates for an species then it cannot mate with its own species, that is the observed fact as of today.
3. ATOMIC PARTICLES: Scientists are totally flat with the behavior of electrons and other atomic particles. They are not able to predict how electron becomes wave and particles. But they are sure that they OBSERVED electron behaves as waves and particles. May be on one fine day, a new scientist observe something different and add to that or even totally collapse previous theories on electron.

I can list more and more items .. but the point is .. humans simply cannot match NATURE. Rather than observing and changing the parameters of the nature.. Lets enjoy what NATURE presented us with.. RELIGION has drawn unnecessary boundaries among people and altered the nature of humans. Let the people come out that religious turmoil and act with their free-will and become Humans... naturally.

SCIENCE is meant for betterment of human life in this unknown mysterious universe. But science did something it does not intended to. SCIENCE took out all minerals and oil out of earth's crust and extincted many species, which in turn is an indirect - slow extinction of human beings, our self. Let science change its attitude and see things beyond science (there cannot be enough paper and brain to store the information about universe !!! ) . Let science observe nature and help human beings in a positive way.

Part 2 - The Reality - Fatal Error:3000 Life not found in Software Industry

Previously I have written a post on my thoughts about the software-industry life. Now I am writing the reality that is right-now happening in my life.

I am very pet to my parents and especially mom. Still my school days I spent good time with parents.Though we dint had enough money for a hi-fi life. We dint had a phone, but we were in contact with many. We dint had money but definitely had happiness. I hang around with good friends with whom I can share everything.

This is upto my age 17.

Then I joined engineering and missed my parents. Still the college life is fun. I had again a good close friends in college to whom I can share everything, but the number is less compared to school. We chat chat and chat and roam roam and roam without less than 10 Rs in pocket. And during semester leave I used to spend approx 20 days at home. Those are sweet memories. Mom used to prepare variety of foods. Next we were in race for job by age 20 (3rd year). This is the biggest turning point and the worst turning point.

Age is now 22. I am finishing my college at April 2006 and May 29 2006 I am joining TCS at Bhubaneswar.

I thought , its ok.. just 2 months in bhubaneswar and then will be right back in chennai or b'lore. But the story is very different. I am posted to Ahmedabad which is very very far from my home town (just 3000 kms). For 2 years, I struggled for my transfer to chennai/b'lore. I could hardly go to my home. Also I need to spend approx 9000 per trip to my home. My mom and dad are really missing me and my bro too. My bro is in merchant-navy and he sails for 6 months. So my parents are aged and missing their children. I had terribly bad food (in my perspective) and missing my friend circle and family and mentally affected. I felt hard to push each and every day in Ahmedabad. I still remember that my mom and dad are affected by Chikungunia disease and even could not walk. But I am staying 3000kms apart. I heard my mom's voice in phone and I could feel the dull aching voice. How would you anyone feel? ............. Then I got a job in Mindtree b'lore and still TCS managers in Ahmedabad were not ready to leave me. TCS managers threatened me to stay else I would not get my relieving letter... What an insane world it is !!! ... When my mom heard this.. she felt very bad.... Though I deserve, I missed my parents again. The level of anger I had on Ahmedabad is too high... I simply hated to the extreme to stay in Ahmedabad..

Atlast after 2 and half years,
I got a project in TCS chennai and I thought I will get offshore work. But sadly I got onsite to Glasgow UK. I went to home during Oct 2008 diwali for 3 days. My whole family was there and we enjoyed the diwali. This is one of the best time after almost 3 years.

From 2006 May to 2008 Oct, I was in spent totally 18 days in my home. I usually take 10 days leave in Ahmedabad office and I end up spending only 5 days at home due to long travel. This is bull shit... ..

See this.. out of 850 days I spent only 18 days in my home. Also no more friends in my hometown as everyone settled in concrete-jungles (chennai/b'lore/mumbai). Then I reached Glasgow and visited home for a 2 weeks leave.. So again another 5 days in my home and rest lost in travel and tiredness...

Today it is 24 Sep 2009.... I called my mom.. she said she got problem in eyes and diagnosed some tumor kind of lump in a nerve connecting to brain and needs an operation as soon as possible. I have lakhs of money now. But I cannot go to my hometown tomorrow. I cannot takecare of my mom.

What is the point that I have money and lost my happiness.

Perhaps my money can help her operation.. but it will not give the warmth of my presence.
Atleast, I could have spent my days with my parents if I just resigned TCS on 2006 July when I heard my posting in Ahmedabad.

Stupid me :( I dint had any option. The society molded me into a money-making-machine rather than a life-seeking-human. There are approx 10 lakh people working in IT industry in India. Atleast 40% of that people are experiencing the same situation as I do.

I dont know if I am seeing this incident in a wrong perspective with immature behavior. But this is what I feel.

To Everyone:
Please make sure that your job doesnot interfere your life and it travels parallel y to your life's path. If not your job will pull you away from your life and what remains is just you and your memories of happy-past.

Economic Bubble in India

Economic Bubble, to be put simple, is the growth of SPECUALTIVE FINANCIAL SITUATION, that would end up in economic imbalance when the bubble burst.

WHY IN INDIA???

Currently the youth in India are earning handsome money and thier next action is to grow the excess money in their bank accounts. The Real-Estate business people got hold of this trend and started to build apartments everywhere and selling it double/triple the original cost. Say, it costs 15 Crore INR to build a apartment. The Real-estate people sell indivual houses in the apartment for higher cost and making 40 to 50 Crore INR out of it. All this profit is just because of the "SPECULATIVE" investment of the youths. I know many people who just get a Housing Loan of around 20 Lakhs INR. Every month they pay 18,000 INR for housing loan EMI and this has to proceed for 10 Years !!!! Still the youth are ready to pay for it !!!

Ok now lets see how this causes a BUBBLE. As per the definition of bubble the money invested is purely speculative. In next 10 years from now if the 30 Lakhs flat downs to 20 Lakhs what will be the impact??? Although many people think this will not work this way, It Actually Does... Yes, it is !?!

In such a case the money lost as a whole by the society is large and it happens all at a time. In addition if the housing loan rates increase (though by a small margin say 1%) then the youths end up in paying huge money than they expect.

HOW THE PRICE WILL GO LOW ???

This is indeed a speculation ! Still there is good chances of price fall. IT industry is the back bone for all these house purchasing youths. They also invest in Mutual Funds/Share Market which in turn is a speculation. Because of this spree in investing, many people dont even analyse the actual value of the company on which they invest. So now people end up in buying shares for more than the company worth. In few years they will get to know that the company makes less profit and they obviously loose money in share-market.

Presently, because of this speculative investment in Share-Market (also from foreigners) and IT industry's foreign money the Indian economy increases (i.e. the money value increases. Currently it is 38 INR equals a US dollar. It is far more than 48 INR equals a US dollar a year ago !!!). This results in IT industry's low profit than usual. So the IT industry's clients will start looking at low price zones like china/Indonesia/etc... In such a case the Indian IT industry further face low profits.

Now starts the employee firing in the Indian IT companies. Yo man.. few IT youths will be fired. If the guy who gets fired is paying the so called Housing Loan of 18,000 INR per month, he is now in TROUBLE. He will be struggling hard to manage the situation because his plans got spoiled !!#&#*&(. Poor Chap--!!!

Now comes the House Selling for urgency !!! Wow, I would like to get his house by then. Infact for cheaper price than he invested. There is no other go for him at that moment. Because no one will invest money when their income is already a trouble. As this cycle follows with many fellas there will be logrithmic fall of prices.

NOW IT IS THE TIME TO GET SCREWED BY THE ECONOMIC BUBBLE. Iam waiting to see people get screwed :)

Fatal Error: 3000 : Life not found in Software-Job

The False-economic-boom in India and the change in life style of Indian youths because of software job will combine together to pull India into trouble sooner or later.

The average food intake by any IT professional per day is equal only to one time food. Pizzas, Bread, Omlette, Noodles, Chicken alone cannot make one healthy for long. Some vegetables are needed for our healthy life. Now cabbage, beetroot, green-leaves (spinach), beans, brinjal, gourds, Banana-flower, Banana-stem, etc are totally alien word for a software professional who had been eating all these things still he joined his company.

Difference between skilled and unskilled is null .. so sad

During 1990's the highly knowledged persons will be able to get thro' the software companies. But in 2000-to-till today the trend has changed drastically. The company is hiring people for head count. The students who study in IIT or NIT or Govt colleges or Deemed Universites or any of Private run colleges will be treated one and the same in Software Job. No student thinks about it while studying. But they will regret after few months of joining the company.

This condition of imbalance will trigger the next level of proving the skills thro MBA course. So all grade-A guys will prepare for CAT, GMAT, GRE etc.. Though many grade-b college guys try it out the grade-A guys will manage to settle down in a good institute. oops..!! The grade-A guys think "Huuh.. Somehow I have made myself genuine and proved myself to the society".

Some cases are still worst. Many guys with fake certificates and really does not deserve the job gets good onsite-oppurtunities or good-package-offer from other companies. This condition is so sick and sucks the grade-A guys. Added to this is the Indian Parents, who ask for more salary. Also they compare only the salary and not the knowledge. Some grade-b college guy's mom/dad will trigger the salary-based confusions in grade-A guy's parents. This makes the situation worst for the grade-A guy who gets less pay than the grade-b guy.

MOney.. Money... MOney... fuck it damn idiots !!!

After seeing this stupid competion for salary even a grade-A guy will think cheap.. yes indeed it happens.. The grade-A guy will start Mutual-funds/Multi-level-marketing/Stock trading. These were all easy money making and does not mean the real interest of grade-A guy. But grade-A guy is now into the whirlpool and he doesnot know he is behind money and material rather than his Interested-field. Once he might have thought of researching on somefields. May be to study about Aeroplanes or ships or Universe or Electricity,etc... But now he calculates the EMI for housing loan and plan to get new gadgets an flats. This condition is really pathetic.

Simply to say, software is not the respected or respect giving job in India as of today. May be it was once a respected profession. But now any person who knows to dress decently and speak some english can be a software professional. Hmm... But no vacancy for high profile jobs which grade-A guys look into. So better is everyone not to study too hard in school and colleges nowadays. Everyone will end up in IT job for sure. Then why to worry!!! ???

Fuck the damn books which

My life...

(click the image to see it larger ,1400 x 900 px, for widescreen laptop resolution)